Bad Dreams, Bad Days.

I had a really terrible dream last night. I remember it super vividly, which is even weirder.

I dreamed my sister and I were kidnapped by Nazis and we were in this room that was all wood and there were white shears blowing in the wind. We were trying to plan our escape when the Nazis came in the room and we started praying. I was praying and she was holding my hands. They shot me in the head. Kari was crying. The walked out of the room and I said to her, "Finish praying." I wasn't dead. And I felt no pain. She kept praying and finished the prayer and I just laid there. The Nazis came back in and I played dead. I moved and the Nazis shot me in the head again and they stayed there. Kari was crying even more, but she wasn't hurt. The Nazis stayed in the room this time and Kari thought I was dead, but again I wasn't. I opened my eyes and looked at her, and closed my eyes so that she would know I was alive. Suddenly, we were carried to this kitchen. Like a big industrial sized kitchen. I was thrown on a bench and Kari was made to cook. Justin from Carrabba's showed up in a Nazi uniform and walked into the kitchen. He saw me and saw me breathing. He talked all the other people into leaving the room and letting him supervise. He told me to keep playing dead and when they discarded my body I would be able to escape. A captain came into the room and saw me breathe and I was shot in the chest. This one I felt (I guess I was having acid reflux or something in my sleep) and I was in pain, but was still alive. We were all taken outside into the woods. I was thrown aside and Kari ran to me, Justin was right beside us. The Nazis started opening fire with a machine gun but we were down the hill under a trench. Justin grabbed me and ran to his car and took me to a house in the mountains. I woke up.

WHAT THE HELL DID I EAT.

I woke up on time w/o an alarm, I got dressed, left my phone at home by accident, I have been forgetting stuff and leaving stuff all day. It's rainy and weird outside.

IDK. I hate weird dreams. I feel guilty because Kari got left behind and it didn't even really happen.

Do-Overs

I have had more "fresh starts" than I know what to do with. So many people complain about second chances, I've had what? 1....2....3.....4...5 now? I just can't believe the chances I've had and wasted. This time, I hope my Do-Over sticks.

I am moved into my apartment, started my new job. Done training. Selling cars tomorrow. I meet new people every day, and every new person is an opportunity to make my life better. I'm just so darn optimistic right now! I have a job where I have the chance to make a lot of money, and in my area all the other sales people are doing super well for themselves. Why not me? I'm very confident that I will do well here. Plus the environment is suitable for me, I have a nice office with a huge window and I don't have to wear a tacky uniform and apron, I have a lot of freedom and I like it a lot so far. Though I am only four days in.

My things are all moved into my new place and I can't wait to see it. Momma warned me that my furniture is a little big and not to get upset, but honestly I'm sure it's probably fine. If it's not, I'm sure there'll be a post about it tomorrow.

I won't get home til pretty late tonight, I don't get out of work until nine and I have to stop by Mama's and pick up a few things like my cell phone charger and some clothes for tomorrow and a shower curtain. I won't even get to Ma's til about 9:15, then I'll be there gathering stuff and socializing til at least 9:30 or 9:45. That puts me at 10:00 at least. Then I have to get home and put stuff away and set stuff up and blah blah blah. I'll be in bed pretty late I reckon.

Tomorrow I work 9 to 7, I'm excited about that because it's kind of boring between 7 and 9 it seems. I have a couple people coming in to by cars from me in the next week, I love knowing people and being outgoing. It really works for me.

It's a good feeling to be on top of things. I have a nice apartment, (even if it is 18 years old, it's still super nice.) a real job, and a loving family this always just a phone call away. It really can't get much better!

I'm all hyped up on coffee and soda. Oy. I'm bouncing off the walls a little for sure, but hey, at least I'll have the energy to do all the stuff I have to do tonight :-)

Better than I expected.

I'm doing much better moneywise than I thought. So relieved. 

Started my new job today, it's nice to dress nice for work and have my own office. Also, it seems that they get plenty of business so I hope to sell my first car on Saturday. I'm confident that I will be able to do it! YAH!

I'm feeling way better about everything. I can't wait to get into my new place! Todd and Alex are going to be moving my big furniture in, apparently, every day this week while I'm at work. I didn't ask them to do this, I really think Todd just wants something to do. None the less, I'm grateful for the moving help. If I get my bed moved in, I can sleep there tomorrow :-) Todd and I are going down around 9 so I can sign the papers and he can help me during the walk through cause I know I wont see anything. I go to work at 11. I'm leaving work at 3 to move stuff in. The best part is that I make salary right now so it doesn't even matter that I'm leaving early tomorrow! YAY! 

I'm just so darn excited I can't even stand it! 

Meh.

The person that was stalking all my online stuff isn't doing so anymore, and it makes me feel better to blog, so here I am again.

I move into my new place in three days. I had to switch insurance agents to get renter's insurance and jump through hoops to get my electricity switched over, but it's done now. I'm broke. I wasn't accounting for all the down payments for everything, and I only made 1,000 dollars last month at Ihop. If I can just make it through the next two weeks I'll get my first paycheck from my new job and my last paycheck from my old one.

Speaking of new jobs: I got hired as a salesperson at Randy Marion. I don't know if this is a good thing or bad thing, but I'm pretty good at selling things and I have the opportunity to make a lot of money. Or not. "You get out what you put in." Said the guy that hired me. So if I sell no cars, I make no money. O yay.

I can't wait for things to get better. I'm so stressed out about money that I'm considering backing out of my apartment all together. I know that two weeks from now I'll be in good shape, but what about until then? I have NO left over money. At all. I had 200 dollars extra aside from my rent, and I had to spend that yesterday to get insurance. How am I going to eat in the next two weeks? How am I going to get anywhere with no gas? Is this worth it? I hope so. I'm exaggerating a little bit, I'll probably be staying here until sometime next week because no one will be able to help me move, but that just covers food. Gas is an issue. Serious one. I'm so screwed. Maybe I'm over reacting. I don't know.

On the upside, in two weeks I'll be more than OK in the money department. O yay.

Even though I am super stressed out about it, I am also really excited about my apartment. I can't wait to get in there, put up curtains, place my furniture, put up my porch swing, and have a place that is all me. No room mates. Just me. Also the weight room is 24 hour access. Since I'll be too poor to do anything else for a little while, I plan to spend a lot of time in that room.

I'm not going to get cable or internet until I have things budgeted out and I know what I can and can't afford. So it's also a good thing that there is a 24 hour business center with internet at my apartment too. Maybe I'll waste less time online because I'll have to walk down there. I'll definitely be in bed earlier.

I am paying my car/renter's insurance quarterly, so I don't have to pay anything on that again until November 11th. That makes me happy.

I'm as serious as a heart attack when I say that in two weeks I will be more than ok on money. I don't want to lose my apartment all together just because I'm going to have a tough two weeks. Here I am weighing out the pros and cons, Should I get my apartment and be broke and miserable and worried for two weeks, or should I lose my apartment (which is something that makes me happy and proud of myself) and stay here but have two weeks of financial peace? I think it is worth it to move. If I can just find like 15 dollars for gas for the next two weeks I will be ok. (Which I might find, I find money all the time)

I should stop freaking out. I am such a Stressed-out Sally! Of course I'm going to move into my apartment. I have already paid my first three months of insurance. My electricity goes into my name on tuesday. I have the furniture for it in storage. If worse comes to worse, I'll take back my bathroom shelf and then buy it again in two weeks. I just need to calm down. Calm down. Calm down....1...2....3....4....5....6...7.....8.....9...10. I do feel a little better. Sometimes all it takes is a little reasoning with myself. Am I going crazy?

This is my last blog post.

I'm am so angry. I'm fuming. I will no longer be posting anything in this blog because I have learned that it is not wise to do so. If I figure out how to delete this I will, as well as all my other accounts on the internet. 

I might start new ones, I might not.  

I am so angry. I'm tired of paying for other people's mistakes. This is not acceptable. I'm not going to say why I'm angry because it is done. It is not repairable. I'm not one to hold a grudge, but this will probably stick for a while. I'm so mad I'm crying. 

Tomorrow is my day off, I'm excited about it really. I have been working a lot lately which is an amazing change from not working enough. I really feel confident that I will save a ton of money between now and August 11th. But anyway, I told my Mommy that I would clean the house up tomorrow so I decided to make out a schedule so that I would get everything done and still do other stuff with my day. I used to do this all the time in college just to ensure that I would get everything done.  

Friday, July 10^th, 2009

7:45 a.m. Wake up

8:00 a.m. Gym

9:30 a.m. Breakfast (one egg, cereal, 2% milk)

10:00 a.m. meditation

10:30 a.m. Dust ceilings, fans, and baseboards using the fluffy in the pantry (fluffy is the affectionate name I have created for the duster) Dust Kitchen and Dining Room

11:00 a.m. Snack (water and dried fruit mix)

11:30 a.m. Wipe down Dining Room table, legs, and chairs

12:00 p.m. go swimming (if raining, laundry)

1:00 p.m. Lunch (leftover gnocchi chicken soup and mozzarella biscuits…..omg so bad for me and so worth it)

1:30 p.m. Sweep (Kitchen, Office, Bathroom, Foyer)

2:00 p.m. Internet time

3:00 p.m. Clean toilet and sink

3:30 p.m. snack (water, dry cereal)

4:00 p.m. Mop (Kitchen, Office, Bathroom, Foyer) with swiffer

4:30 p.m. go for walk/jog (if raining, early shower and maybe nap)

5:00 p.m. shower

5:30 p.m. family time

10:30 p.m. Bed time

Broke the fool out of my phone. I have to buy a new one next week but I'm putting it off until I just can't stand it any more. I will probably get a real nice one though whenever I do get one, I am so tired of my Razr!

Momma told me I can invite Kirk over for dinner tomorrow night. We aren't exclusive or serious or anything, I kind of think we are just friends. I don't know if I will have him over or not. We'll see I reckon. 

JULY!

So I haven't posted in a good while, not like anyone is upset about it, but whatever. Sorry nonexistent readers! 

Update:

I moved out of Lew's house and into my Mom's. I know, most people would say that's a step backwards...BUT....I am saving money for MY NEW APARTMENT THAT I AM MOVING INTO AUGUST 11TH!!!!! I'm pumped to say the least. 

I have all the furniture except my bedroom furniture. 

It has two pools, three tennis courts, a 24 hour fitness room, running trails, 854 square feet, and O MY GOD IT IS GORGEOUS. 

I am so happy. I am not depressed any more, on the contrary I'm super happy. 

My brother is a little jerk though, and keeps my mom torn up. I could smack him in the face. It's whatever though. 

I am job hunting right now for a place to work that is closer to my NEW APARTMENT. So basically, life is good and stuff. 

The end. 

Karma-Comedian, or Chameleon??

Calla is such a cute dog. Yesterday she loved me so much. She followed me around, didn't give me the "Oh, it's just you." look that she usually gives. She snuggled with me and gave me kisses. It was lovely! She is back to normal today, but its ok, we have our memories :-)

Today and yesterday I haven't been as depressed, but my temper is still super short. It takes nothing at all to make me so angry. I don't know what is wrong with me. I need to figure it out and calm the fuck down.  Seriously. 

My sister called me yesterday, it was really nice to hear from her. We don't talk enough because she's so far away. I lovsh her! She is getting hawty hawt and next time I see her she will be even skinnier than she was last time. I'm a little jealous, but mostly just really, really proud of her. 

I want to get my belly button pierced. My stomach is smaller and my stretch marks are faded out, I think it would look cute again if I were to get it done. I will, if I ever get on my feet again money-wise. It shouldn't be hard, I just can't do anything for a while. And I have to get a second job most likely because the folks at Ihop basically lied to me because they were desperate for me to take the job. I am not mad...wait, yes I am. Damn it. 

I am so over online dating, I have a profile on Okcupid. It's free. It has a pretty good matching system. It seems like a lot of people on there are there for the right reasons...

...however.... there are enough there for the wrong reasons to ruin the experience for me. Wrong reasons are the following:

Sex only. You people are lame. 

Attention. If you have to go online for attention, there are bigger problems.

You want someone to heal you. GTFO. 

Someone "forced" you to make a profile. Bullshit, you are just stuck in the past and won't own up to online dating. 

I'm to the point now where I don't actually expect to meet anyone there, it is just a time killer like facebook and myspace. Well. At least it is something to do.  I have made peace with the fact that I'm going to be single forever.

Since I am done with My Sister's Keeper, I was looking through my books to see if there was something else I want to read. I have this book, I don't know where it came from, but it is called Marriable, or something like that. LOL. It's like a self help book. LOL. LOLOLOL. I will let ya'll know how it is. 

This weekend my room mate's fiance's friend is staying in our house. She is staying in the room that has my extra closet. She will be sharing my bathroom. Such an intrusion. I'm thinking about making her use the one downstairs. I don't like my room mate's fiance, I don't want to provide toilet paper and shampoo to her friend. Ew. 

I'm So Fake.

Right now I am more depressed then I think I have ever been in my life. All I want to do is lay in my bed, read, watch tv, or whatever else I can do that doesn't require people. It is so unlike me. I love people, what is wrong with me? I am so much meaner in my head than I ever usually am. My temper is short.  My sex drive is gone. I am just all around not a nice person right now.

I fake it like a mother fucker every day though. I go to work and smile and laugh. I go out with the girls and gossip and giggle and talk about boys. I am such a liar. I pretend like I'm so happy all the time and that I'm not exhausted and stressed out and terribly sad...and for what? For the benefit of those that would not be able to handle it if I were upset. 

My friends tell me that I am so confident and so strong and they count on me and blah blah blah. ENOUGH. I need to have a bad day. I need to get mad and yell at someone. O my God, I need to act the way I feel. 

But I can't, that wouldn't be polite. That would mean causing discomfort to other people. Thank God no one reads my blog or there would be a lot of disappointed people right now. 

I did get some relief though, today. 

I finished the book My Sister's Keeper, and it was so good that I locked myself in my room all day to finish it. Left the cell phone downstairs. Blubbered and sobbed the whole time, because the book was so sad. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone that wants a happy ending or anyone that wants to be happy. But if you need a good cry and want to feel moved, it is so excellent. 

Then I went to work and was pleasant and nice like always, and I made 16 dollars. Screw night shift at Ihop. I am so happy I normally work the mornings. 

Ugh, I am so emo. I'm sorry to anyone that reads this. 

The Wheat Fields

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never loved.  

This old cliche statement resonates more true in me every single day.

This posting is going to be different. It is not going to be random like all my others have been, and it is not going to be funny. I'm not going to rant. This posting is about one thing and one thing only, the fact that I am not and never will be over my ex boyfriend, Brad. 

I loved him with my whole self. I opened up to him immediately, and I trusted him about five seconds after that. The way I felt about him was so different than any other time I thought I was in love, it was real. 

I can't go to certain places that we used to go without thinking about him.

I go anyway. 

I can't look at a nice car without thinking, 'O, Brad would love that.' I can't look at hillbilly teeth, penguins, shiny bowls, or even my own arm without thinking of some thing that included him. I can't listen to most classic rock anymore without remembering that it was the only thing he wouldn't complain about playing in my car.  

It hurts.

There are days when I don't know if I can even get out of bed because he is not beside me anymore. 

But I always get up. 

It's not even that I miss him specifically anymore, I miss the way I felt about him and how I knew he wouldn't let anything happen to me. How I was safe with him. I knew that no matter what happened to me, he would be there with open arms ready and willing to pick up the pieces and let me cry until I felt better. He would be there to listen to me when I had no one else to talk to. He would be there. 

And now, he is gone. I know that I will never see him again. 

And I am ok with it. 

Even though it hurts so much to not have him, I can't help but smile when I look back on the memories we share. I am so glad that my relationship with Brad ended on good, friendly terms because that way I am grateful for the little reminders and, most of all, my standards are securely in place because I know that I have had and do deserve a man that will treat me in such a way that I want to be treated. 

Some days I look back and mourn. Most days I look back and smile and look forward to my future with whoever Mr. Next is, or maybe even Mr. Right. 

The way I felt about Brad has transformed, and it has been time to move on for a while. 

"It has done me good,"said the fox, "because of the color of the wheat fields."

Black Poop?!?!?!?!

So I got real sick the other day from eating cheesy potato soup from Bob Evans. I went to work the next day and felt like poop all day long. My manager gave me some Pepto. Over the next couple days, my poop was BLACK. Like, it was scaring me.  I went online and typed in, "My poop is black," into the search bar. To my surprise, a common side effect of pepto is black poop because it reacts to the sulfer that you are poopin out. OMG. Also, black tongue is common. Thank God I didn't get that too. 

In other news, I am ridiculously sunburned. In pain even. I haven't worn a bra in two days. 

My room mate has made me upset again today, it was no big deal, I just hate it when people leave me notes. I have created a new Roomates.com account and have messaged two people already. Both of those places have cheaper rent than I am paying now. I just don't want to be here any more. 

My mom's new car is hotty hot. Pontiac Solstice in the color, "mean." I love. 

I dreamed last night that I was a vampire hunter. 

How long do you think my poop will stay dark? Blah.

There once was  a girl with an ache.

She took some pepto for her sake.

Her poop soon turned black,

Who would have thought that? 

And now she thinks she ought to bake. (cookies, that is.)

Rainy Day Blues.

Today is my day off. Plans for today were things like:

Clean out my car

Clean my room

Clean my bathroom

Find a use for all the cherries I bought for no reason

Lounge all day by the pool

It is raining, a lot. I can't clean out my car or lounge by the pool, which only leaves me exciting things like cleaning my bedroom and my bathroom and playing with cherries. Not that I don't love cherries. 

Found out today that two people from my childhood are now Drag queens. They are open about this and did a show last night so I see no problem in revealing their identities, but on the off chance that someone other than my sister reads this, you won't know who they are anyway. 

It's sad thought that they make prettier women then a lot of girls I know. 

A quote from Reginald about the topic:

 "I was in town and I saw this cute girl and I kept getting the feeling that I'd seen her before. The more I looked at her, the more I saw the resemblance and then OMG I knew who it was and had to go shoot something to feel less gay." Gotta love those PC Wilkes Co. peeps. 

Another thing I was thinking of: Why do we folks from Wilkes Co. say Wilkes County instead of saying like Hays or North Wilkesboro or Wilkesboro or something? That is so weird. Now that I live in Cornelius I don't say I'm from Mecklemburg, I say I live in Cornelius. No one else does this, except the folks from Wilkes. They all do it. All of them. 

The more I think about it the more I realize that I probably won't do anything today.  I slept super late (10:00 a.m.), it's dark and icky outside, and all in all I just don't feel like getting up off of the couch. My bathroom is pretty gross though. I might have to suck it up and go clean that. 

Still only one follower on my blawg, it's very sad. I only made it like a week ago so I shouldn't be that sad about it, lawl. 

Lewis went away like two days ago and I haven't seen him since. He is a grown man and can do whatever he pleases, wherever he pleases, whenever he pleases, but I wish he would let me know when he's going to not be coming home because how do I know if something really bad happened to him or not? Not that Lewis ever notices when I don't come home for the night, but I would hope that if I didn't come home for three days without telling him he would worry about me to. 

I wore sweats and a t shirt to my mom's house last night. I'm pretty sure she thinks I have gained a ton of weight but I haven't, it's just the sweats and t shirt. She looked at my belly funny and it kinda made me feel bad about myself, that's why I'm posting about it here. It's so funny that I can go out by  the pool in my bikini and not feel bad about myself, but I'm so scared of what my family will think of me when I visit. She didn't say anything about the way I looked, I'm just making stupid assumptions about the look. You know what assumptions do to you anyway. 

I am wracking my brain about what I can do with those cherries. I don't know why I bought them in the first place...probably because I like cherries. Maybe I'll make some kind of sauce with them. Or I'll fry them. Or I'll just eat the little bitches. Who knows? 

So tired.

I am exhausted. Because I work in the morning and afternoon, I am not eating like I should. I'm not eating the things that I should, as often as I should, or even as much as I should. I am also not used to waking up so early. Not drinking enough water. Not exercising as much as I should. Basically, I'm tired and I need to take better care of me. 

tonight I'm making pico. I'm pumped about it. The hint of lime tostitos are freaking good, it is more than a hint though. Good thing I like lime. 

I can't even think of anything else to write about. My pockets are jingling. 

Randomocity.

So I trained today for the last day, and I am a server now. It's cool because I will keep the tips I make, and it sucks because my hourly wage is now $2.13. Also, I don't know how I'm going to get enough hours in, I am just going to have to buckle down more in my search for a second job. Why can't I just find a sugar daddy to take care of me so that I don't have to work anymore? That, friends, would be ballin'. (Jk, old rich guys are usually pretty gross.)

I feel disgusting today, my self esteem is pretty low. Why? I don't know. Here are some reasons I SHOULD be happy: 

*I am doing well at my job, I didn't have to even do half of the required training because I'm super waitress. 

*I have been losing weight pretty steadily. 

*I have a date tonight. 

*I found out that I do infact have friends, I just forgot about them. 

*The old folks at work tell me on a daily basis how gorgeous I am. 

*I'm finally making money.

*Lew and Calla are home.

*I am a pretty darn fabulous cook. 

*I got 8.5 hours of sleep last night. 

Generally, just one of those reason would be enough to have me bouncing off the walls in happiness, but today not so much.... maybe I have been eating too many pancakes lately. I mean, I am generally super cocky...but today I don't even feel comfortable wearing my bikini without a tank top over it. And why? who knows. 

I made a Twitter account, it's pretty baller. I am following such folks as Oprah, Martha Stewart, Shaq, Moby, Al Gore, BOB VILLA, and much, much more. My sister is particularly excited about Bob, that's why it's in all caps. She always said she was going to marry him someday. 

So my date tonight is kind of weird. I met this guy like a while back. His name was Louis. (weird, right? my room mate is also Lewis.) I went on two dates with Louis, on the second of which, I met his room mate. After the second date, I never heard from him again. We just weren't clicking so it was no big thing. WELL. Last night, the room mate texts me and wants to take me out. Pretty neat. So I'm going out with Roommate Eric tonight. Not sure if it's a date, I asked him and he said it's up to me....I'll decide that at a later time. 

Right now I am waiting for Italia to get back from grocery shopping so we can go swim it up. I hope I don't get sunburned. I don't want to look like a lobster during my maybe-date with Roommate Eric.  Right now I am also watching, "Wizards of Waverly Place," on the Disney Channel. 

Corkscrew.

Last night we went to the Corkscrew and it was pretty fun. I mean, I'm under 21 and so could not order any of the delicious wine, but it was still fun. Very chill place to be, cool music, wine, what more could you want? Seven enthusiastic thumbs up for the Corkscrew. 

Today work was long, to say the least. OK OK it was from 8 a.m. to 12:30 p.m, but it was still really long. If that Brandon kid doesn't stop pushing me out of his way (by the way, I was standing where I was SUPPOSED to be), I'm gonna push his hair out of his eyes and poke them. 

Apparently I looked pretty though, old ladies were complimenting me left and right today. The only thing I did different was part my hair on the other side. 

When I got home from work today my AC was set on 34 degree. I have no idea how this happened, as I am the only person home and it was set on 72 when I left for work...but it did happen, so all I can say is this: W.T.F.  

Plans for later today include going swimming with Katie and Kurt...or is it Kirk? I don't know, I never pay that much attention. For boredom's sake, I'm gonna say he's Kirk because Star Trek was awesome. Swimming should be fun though, and it'll wear me out enough to get into bed at a decent hour. 

I'm very sad about the fact that the only follower I have on my blawg is my sister. O well, at least someone loves me.

I have just realized that I am really hawngry. 

Who Wants Fuzzy Breasts Anyway???

Title of this post: from "What Not to Wear", by Clinton, about a lady with pilling sweaters. Reason: It made me smile. 

Tonight I am going out with the girls, I'm pumped. I haven't been out and about since before I got fired from Carrabba's two weeks ago. Cabin Fever is setting in a wee bit. 

I don't go out nearly enough, I feel like I really don't have any friends. I have people I like, and people I like to be around, but no one that I really trust with all my secrets. I can honestly say, there is not a single person on Earth that really knows everything about me. It's very sad. I'm going to have to start making an effort to enjoy people more, the more time I spend alone the more I realize I hate it. The worst part is that I don't even know how to meet people other than folks I work with. I guess you do what you can with what you have. 

I have lost 6 pounds in the last two days. I know it isn't the healthiest weight loss, but I really hope it keeps up. 17 more pounds and I am where I was when I got to college. I was hawt when I got to college. Just sayin. 

Lewis is coming home from the beach either tonight or Sunday. Who knows, really. I am really tired of being in the house alone, so I hope he comes home tonight, but at the same time I don't want to deal with his fiance this weekend so I really hope he doesn't. I kind of dislike her when she is drunk, which is the way she is every time I see her. 

I really miss being in love. It's not so much that I miss my ex anymore, it's that I miss the way he made me feel. I want to make fun of penguins, cook ridiculous southern food, get chased around and tickled, call someone and rant, say silly pet names, wake up next to someone I really really care about. I'm so emo. 

I have been craving Italian food for a week now. There is a good possibility that I will satisfy that craving tonight. Not with goat cheese and lemon butter and bread and oil, but maybe with some spaghetti or frozen pizza. Again, I'm pumped. 

It's good...to have a chi hammer....at the ready. 

So Basically, I am the coolest.

So this is my first blawg. It is going to be random, it is going to be crazy, and it is probably going to be diary-esk. I just hope my sissy (who also has a blawg), won't judge me based on the stupid stuff I'm probably most likely going to say. 

So where do I begin? I'm a 20 year old temporary college drop out. Temporary because I don't know when I'm going back, but I am. I live with a man named Lew and a dog named Calla. I serve people pancakes for a living. I'm 5'11" and I weigh 232.8 pounds, so this is also going to talk about my weight loss journeys too. My life is pretty much amazing, and from now until I get sick of blawging, yous guys are all going to read all about it. So, now that you have a general idea of who I am, GET EXCITED. 

This is the end of my first post.